Tagged: sanity

Saying “NO” is a Complete Sentence

Posted by on in Mind/Body, self care 2 comments

No is a complete sentence.

We all have them; people that drive us to mentally figure out “How to Get Away with Murder“. They ask you to do something that you clearly don’t want to do, so you mutter, “No.” That clearly doesn’t deter them. They continue on, and very much like a child in the cereal aisle tormenting a tired parent on a shopping trip, they wear you down, until you just say yes, to get them as far away from you as possible.

Saying “NO” is a Complete Sentence

Boundaries are a beautiful thing. It gives you a line to where you can set them, and folks can see where they can push you- but no further. Boundaries are for you to set, forward or back, but it’s your job to set them. To some, they are easy to set; for the rest of us, setting boundaries takes some practice. Here are a few tips that work for me –

  1. Making sure your head is in agreement with your NO – Nodding your head while saying NO gives
    Jessica Williams saying NO

    Make sure that your head aligns with you saying NO. You would be amazed at how often you nod saying NO.

    the person asking an opportunity to wear you down. It may sound crazy, but see how you look when you say ‘no’. You’d be surprised how you may have been giving mixed signals unconsciously.

  2. Make sure your body isn’t betraying you – Your posture dictates when people can get away with foolishness. If you are standing up straight, and look like you are about a sense of purpose, it is less likely that people will bug you. If you look like the last kid picked for dodgeball, your posture is saying it’s a good time to get away with something inane.
  3. Find more than one way to say it – the moment you are asked, depending on the situation, screaming at the top of your lungs may not be the most appropriate way to answer the question. Find a different way to say it, and apply that way to the appropriate situation.

Remember – 1) it takes practice to maintain boundaries and 2) people will constantly try to move your boundaries to fit their agenda. Saying NO to someone or a situation is essentially saying YES to you and your own agenda. Self-care is NOT selfish, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

P.S. – I know that this isn’t the complete list on saying NO. What do you do to maintain your boundaries and keep your sanity?

 

 

Racing to the End of the Year

Posted by on in Mind/Body 4 comments

I woke up this morning with “The Devil Wears Prada” on the brain…and then, I remembered – We are all on a mad dash to the end of the year – filled with hurdles & potholes! As the months roll out, there will be days with multiple events that you will *have* to attend, followed by gifts that you’ll have to get for all the parties that you’ve been invited to, and the relatives that drop by unexpectedly, that seem to stay forever. And the LINES…don’t forget the lines! Buy this, return that, ‘ I thought that I had the right receipt for this purchase’… (Yes, ‘The 12 Pains of Christmas’ is already running in my head.)

Well, Halloween was just yesterday, and I can see it, even if you don’t, and I refuse to stress this season, and I will have a great end of the year, because:

1. I will prioritize what is important, and commit to what I can. It will result in hurt feelings, but you know what? I can’t be everywhere at once and everything to everybody. I overbooked myself this month, trying to please too many people. This will have you curled up in a ball in the corner of the room, with your thumb rooted in your mouth. What will I do? I will try to get the coverage that I can for the events that I can’t make, and will send apologies for my sloppy scheduling.

2. WRITE EVENTS DOWN. I am 42 years old with a bad memory to begin with, and my ego always tells me that I’m going to remember, but the truth will tell you that you forget a majority of what you’re told an hour after it is told to you, so as my Algebra teacher Mr. Keegan would say, “Write it dooowwwn!” If you have a smartphone, set reminders and alarms, make that thing work for YOU! Give Siri a job; you paid how much for her to sit around your phone?

3. Make time for MYSELF! Why is this third on the list? Because if it was first, you wouldn’t read it! Making time yourself should always be a priority, because you can’t be your best self if you are running on fumes. I also make it a point to go to Godiva at least once a month, so I can get some great chocolate! It makes it something to look forward to, and it’s just for me.

4. Make time for FUN in my day! Do you have a Holiday playlist that you have that just makes you smile? I have parody playlist that I LOVE so A) I’m listening to what songs I like, and B) not having to hear radio play the same 10 songs for 2 months straight. It helps me have a sense of humor about everything that happens, and even with some of those relatives….you know who I’m talking about!

5. Take time to be GRATEFUL. Take time this season to appreciate all that you already have, not ‘how am I gonna get this gift from X, Y or Z…’ You’ve been blessed with a great life; it’s time that you see that, too.

Now that you’re ready to start running this race to the end of the year, recognize that it’s a marathon, not a sprint, and some of the foolishness you just don’t have to participate in. Have fun – I’m cheering you on! Get on your marks…get SET…GO!

Editor’s note – I want to hear how YOU are going to keep your sanity through the holidays!