Askin’ all them questions…

There have been several occasions where when I’ve talked about my profession, that there have been awkward questions wanted to be asked, but haven’t because we were in mixed company.

There was a video that was recently released through Buzzfeed Video, that tackled some of these awkward questions. Some of these questions I have already covered (Part 1, 2 & 3), so I’ll only cover a few points.

  1. Flirting (with the client, or client flirting with the therapist)- I do my best not to flirt with the client; that tends to blur the lines of professionalism, and can be taken for more than the words intend. I’ve had several clients flirt with me after a session, to which I reply, “I’ll let my husband know.” Because I am married, and have been so all the time that I have been a therapist, I tell my husband all about the funny interactions that I have (names redacted, of course), so that there is no worry on his end.
  2. Erections – There is nothing more stressful for most men is that they may get an erection on the table during a massage. Male or female therapist; it doesn’t matter. An erection is basically a response by the body that tends to come up at the most inopportune moments. Bill Engvall made a whole standup routine about it. If I do have to work in the inner leg
    Pain and Referral patterns of Sartorius muscle. Source - Real Bodywork

    Pain and Referral patterns of Sartorius muscle. Source – Real Bodywork

    or upper leg, the sheet will be properly tucked, and your hand will be there as a border. Now, if the hand begins to migrate away, to accidently have something illicit happen, the session will be terminated. For the record, I’m not looking for them to happen; it’s not my guidepost as to whether or not a good massage session has happened. What I do look for is what the response from the client is. You as the client are trying not to have it happen, and I’m not trying to make it happen. The usual response, “Look what you are doing to me!” and statements that are designed to bring attention to said erection are grounds for termination of session.

  1. Farting – It is a totally natural experience that happens when you are on the table, and are completely relaxed. Believe me, we both are thinking the same thing – “I hope I don’t fart.” If it happens, it happens.
  2. Underwear – If you feel comfortable with having your underwear on, by all means keep them on. There are a few types of massage that would require you to remove them- Lomi Lomi, for example. If your massage requires that I need
    Pain and Referral patterns of Pec Major muscle. Source - Real Bodywork

    Pain and Referral patterns of Pec Major muscle. Source – Real Bodywork

    to work on your back, your bra would have to be removed. Your breast tissue will be covered when I have to work on the upper chest (your pecs, major and minor) by both the sheet, as well as your hand. It helps create a sense of safety for you, and a border for me to work within.

These are only a few topics I hear on a regular basis. If you would like to hear more topics covered, check out my posts here.  If you have questions about massage, feel free to ask! I’ll answer them the best I can.

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