questions

Jim Gaffigan’s neck is still a little sore.

As I tend to sit on Sunday mornings, I was watching my favorite show CBS Sunday Morning. Toward the end of the program, an opinion piece by Jim Gaffigan was being teased for the next segment, on how he feels about getting a massage and massage therapy in general. As a therapist, I naturally perked up, and waited, with anticipation, what he was going to say. He’s a comedian, after all; this should be funny.

As I sat and listened to his opinion, I was horrified by what he said. He compared massage therapist’s appearance to “an orderly in a mental ward”. According to him, we are emotionless people who a) like to rub strangers for money and b) murderers.

Now, I understand that he’s a comedian, and it’s HIS opinion, but I’m sure he isn’t alone. As of October 2016, only “19 percent of consumers surveyed reported receiving a massage from a professional massage therapist in the past year.” (AMTA Consumer Survey) I know I can’t change everyone’s mind, but I can challenge his opinion with knowledge from the other side of the table.

Massages are decadent and weird.”– If you expect an excellent massage for a small amount of money, you may be in for a disheartening experience. Not only are you paying in part for the therapist’s experience by the way of consistent training and classes, you are paying for treatment or relaxation, depending on the wants of the client. If you are not getting either, please speak up. We cannot read your mind; we can read some body language, to a degree.

They are always from strangers” – If you don’t have a person that gets massages, find a person that gets massages. They tend to know WHO to go to, to make sure that you have at least a good massage session. If that doesn’t work for you, massage referral services are a great way to find out who you want to get a massage from. The American Massage Therapy Association® (AMTA®) has a massage locator service called FindaMassageTherapist.org. Associated Bodywork and Massage Professionals (ABMP) has their own Massage Therapist Locator service, as well. Both pages have therapist’s background information, such as licensing, specialties, environments that they work in, and the areas they serve. Massage therapists have a code of ethics that they have to follow to belong to each association. Their contact information is there; call the therapist and ask questions about the session you would like to get.

We get massages from strangers because we can’t count on the people who love us to touch us.”- Positive touch is something humans have been craving since humans walked the earth. The problem is, not everyone knows (or wants to know) how to give a massage to their partner. To some, it’s a little too touchy feely, or they don’t think they would give a good one. Body image issues can be a reason as to why one doesn’t get a massage from a stranger. “What will they think my body?” That’s what a Couples Instructional Massage session is for. You learn how to work with what you have to give a massage to your partner. It’s one of the best kinds of sessions to have because it gives you a little more confidence in how to take care of your partner.

“… why don’t I get in the most vulnerable position I can think of?” While I can understand that being in a state of undress can stress folks out with someone they are unfamiliar with, you do realize that YOU, the client are the most POWERFUL person in the room. You can ask for more or less pressure. You can ask as to why the therapist is working in that spot, even though you mentioned it hurt somewhere else.

Sy Syms, an awesome businessman once said, “An educated consumer is our best customer.” ASK those questions about your massage session. Ask them before, during and after, if necessary; that’ll cover your “I don’t know what to say!” portion of the session. If you’d prefer a quiet session, convey that to the therapist. Chatting helps the stress level lower somewhat. Oftentimes, once you turn over, you tend to fall asleep. If you feel extremely uncomfortable, and you’d like them to stop, say something.

One client on my table clamped her arm to her side because I was about to work on her arm, exposing her unshaven armpit. I replied to her that it’s not an issue for me; I didn’t have a problem with it. With that understanding that I had no opinion about her choice to not shave, she relaxed her arm, and the massage continued with a relaxing pace. We want you to be relaxed so that you can have the best session possible.

What do we know about massage therapists? They like to rub strangers for money while they listen to the “Avatar” soundtrack. That’s a red flag. Those are the traits of a serial killer.” As a kid, I was told that I had such nice hands for massage, I should go into doing massage. I was 8; I wasn’t comfortable with my own body, much less touching anyone else’s aside from my own Nana and Aunts. It put me off from doing massage for years after.

I wouldn’t say that we like to rub strangers for money. I would say that we like to get a person back to a sense of well-being through positive touch. As for the “Avatar” soundtrack, I’ve never seen the movie (That may be a red flag in and of itself, but that’s another story.).

Not everyone likes the sounds of the Blue Whale. Enya, though relaxing can become repetitive to therapists, and the sounds of running water make me want to use the restroom. In some cases, the client brings the music they want to listen to, sometimes, I do. I try not being boring with the music, as that’s as important as the massage itself.

 

They never laugh. You know why? ‘Cause they’re busy imagining making a suit out of my skin. ’cause they’re murderers! They already put the lotion in the basket.” I’ve been accused of laughing too much; I have rather interesting clients come across my chair and table. As far as references to being Buffalo Bill from “The Silence of the Lambs”, EW, no! Please keep the dermis you came in with; it looks so good on you.

Now, with all that being said, I may not have changed his mind or yours. I really do hope that this post has given you something to think about and resources to use in order to have a better massage experience. I’d really love to work with Jim about his issue; it can sometimes feel like a real pain in the neck.

Askin’ all them questions…

There have been several occasions where when I’ve talked about my profession, that there have been awkward questions wanted to be asked, but haven’t because we were in mixed company.

There was a video that was recently released through Buzzfeed Video, that tackled some of these awkward questions. Some of these questions I have already covered (Part 1, 2 & 3), so I’ll only cover a few points.

  1. Flirting (with the client, or client flirting with the therapist)- I do my best not to flirt with the client; that tends to blur the lines of professionalism, and can be taken for more than the words intend. I’ve had several clients flirt with me after a session, to which I reply, “I’ll let my husband know.” Because I am married, and have been so all the time that I have been a therapist, I tell my husband all about the funny interactions that I have (names redacted, of course), so that there is no worry on his end.
  2. Erections – There is nothing more stressful for most men is that they may get an erection on the table during a massage. Male or female therapist; it doesn’t matter. An erection is basically a response by the body that tends to come up at the most inopportune moments. Bill Engvall made a whole standup routine about it. If I do have to work in the inner leg
    Pain and Referral patterns of Sartorius muscle. Source - Real Bodywork

    Pain and Referral patterns of Sartorius muscle. Source – Real Bodywork

    or upper leg, the sheet will be properly tucked, and your hand will be there as a border. Now, if the hand begins to migrate away, to accidently have something illicit happen, the session will be terminated. For the record, I’m not looking for them to happen; it’s not my guidepost as to whether or not a good massage session has happened. What I do look for is what the response from the client is. You as the client are trying not to have it happen, and I’m not trying to make it happen. The usual response, “Look what you are doing to me!” and statements that are designed to bring attention to said erection are grounds for termination of session.

  1. Farting – It is a totally natural experience that happens when you are on the table, and are completely relaxed. Believe me, we both are thinking the same thing – “I hope I don’t fart.” If it happens, it happens.
  2. Underwear – If you feel comfortable with having your underwear on, by all means keep them on. There are a few types of massage that would require you to remove them- Lomi Lomi, for example. If your massage requires that I need
    Pain and Referral patterns of Pec Major muscle. Source - Real Bodywork

    Pain and Referral patterns of Pec Major muscle. Source – Real Bodywork

    to work on your back, your bra would have to be removed. Your breast tissue will be covered when I have to work on the upper chest (your pecs, major and minor) by both the sheet, as well as your hand. It helps create a sense of safety for you, and a border for me to work within.

These are only a few topics I hear on a regular basis. If you would like to hear more topics covered, check out my posts here.  If you have questions about massage, feel free to ask! I’ll answer them the best I can.

Ten Things – (Part 1 of 2) From the Massage Therapist’s Point of View

I came across a hilarious blog named HaHasforHooHas.com, and a post written by Susannah named “Ten Things You’ll Probably Think While Getting a Professional Massage”. I loved it so much, I wanted to post my reply to her (and many of your) concerns. Here’s my response. Now mind you, this is my view on the subject, not on behalf of any other therapist.

1. I hope that I don’t fart. I promise you that as soon as we talk about what your needs are for the massage session, and I leave the room, both of us are thinking the same thing, “I hope that I don’t fart.” It’s a bodily function, and in most cases, when you are relaxed, is no longer in your control. Don’t stress on it. All it means is that your body is working.

2. This music confuses me. Here’s the thing – we listen to ‘massage music’ all day. When I worked at Logan Airport after 9/11, the owner had very few CDs, and one was Enya. Not everyone wants to hear the “Sounds of the Blue Whale” during their sessions, because they think it’s too ethereal. If you don’t like the music, by all means ask me to change it, or you can play your own.

3. Do I have a medical problem? Diagnosing anything is outside of our scope of practice. We may refer you to see your doctor if we see something out of the ordinary. Knots can be stiff, inflexible groups or parts of muscles that may take a little work to get back to feeling better. Just make sure you breathe when you getting it worked on. (Sometimes it can feel a little intense. Taking deep breaths can help to work through it.) Ask questions when you wonder what’s going on. It’s OK!

If you're making faces, the pressure is probably too deep.

If you’re making faces, the pressure is probably too deep.

4. Is this person trying to kill me? Trigger points and knots can feel really intense when they are worked on. As deep as ‘deep tissue massage’ can get, bruises don’t look cute on anyone. Deep pressure is relative; some people want to feel like they were run over by a steamroller. You, not so much. It’s okay, there is more than one way to address sore muscles. Let me know if the pressure is too much. I can’t see your face when you’re on your stomach, making squidgy faces, wondering why I’m trying to kill you.

5. Did I forget to shave my legs?  This should NEVER be a worry, unless you’ve actually cut yourself on your own stubble. Again, growing body hair is a bodily function. Here’s the thing – when you shave your legs, you remove the most superficial barrier of your skin, along with the hair you’re trying to get rid of. This barrier prevents bacteria and other irritants being absorbed into your skin, like a bouncer at a club. Although many therapists use hypo-allergenic, non skin-clogging massage media (Oil, lotion, or cream), some may not, causing more problems such as ingrown hairs and blackheads. Which would you rather have – stubble or blackheads? I’ll take Stubble for $200, Alex.

Now, this is half of Susannah’s list. I’ll be back next week to reply to the rest of her post. Make sure you read the other posts there; you’ll enjoy the posts!

How often should I get a Massage?

By far and away, the question of how often one should get a massage is the most common one that I get on a daily basis. I think, as so many people have different reasons that one would NEED a massage, the answers are never the same, or easy to answer.

How often you get a massage all depends on YOU, and what you need to get out of the sessions!

How often you get a massage all depends on YOU, and what you need to get out of the sessions!

Here is my best recommendation – it depends on you! If you’re athletic and just trying to maintain good muscle tone, the frequency and type of massage would be different than someone that is completely stressed all the time. If you are sedentary, and sit at your desk all day, your massage regimen would be different than someone that would be in a surgery theater. I am not trying to be vague; if you have a specific treatment that you need to feel better, I’d be able to give you a better idea as to your frequency of sessions, because it would be contoured to your need. 

If you have any questions about massage, let me hear them! I’d love to know what you are wondering about!

 

Why do I like doing chair massage?

I’ve been asked by many people why I like to do Chair Massage over Table Massage. As often as I’ve answered this question, I hadn’t answered with the same singular answer. Here are a few of the reasons that I’ve given –

1- It’s a non-invasive way of getting people to enjoy a massage without taking off all of one’s clothes. You get pampered, fall asleep and feel better all in one session. It is the most fun you can have while your clothes are on.

To some, Chair Massage can be daunting.

One of the biggest fears of people have about getting a Chair Massage.

2- I enjoy the traveling of it all. I used to work in a spa, and as much as I liked it, I didn’t get to travel. I was new to the area, and I didn’t get to see but for what in the area of the spa and home. Being able to travel gets me out of my comfort zone and I see more of Atlanta and the surrounding area.

3- It takes the excuse of ‘I don’t have time to take care of myself‘ out of the equation. If I come to you, you are able to de-stress and not have to travel to the spa to do it. Not only have I done massages in the office, I’ve done chair massages at several networking events, launch parties, airports, hospitals, parks, garages (yes, garages – Outdoor event in Atlantic Station – it rained cats and dogs!) and stadiums.

4 – It allows you to get together with your friends and have a great time! When you get together, it adds another level of care to your event. During the weekend, especially during football season, if you aren’t into the game as much as your partner is, you both can have a good time – you are getting a massage and relaxing with your friends; your partner is watching the football game. Everyone comes out a winner (unless your team loses!)

5 – It gets what you need done in a short period of time. Don’t have time for a full body massage, but your neck and back hurt? Get in the chair and take a 15 minute vacation! You’ll wake up refreshed and revived.

6 – It helps you to understand why your body aches the way it does. I try to explain your knots in layman’s terms, so that you are able to do self-care, between your massage sessions.

7- I get to go to the AmericasMart at least twice a year. Store owners and buyers come in from all over the world to buy products for the upcoming season for their stores. It combines my loves – seeing new people, food, shopping and massage.

What questions do you have for me in regards to massage therapy? I’ll do my best to answer any questions you send my way!