Have you ever said any of these things to a Massage Therapist?

I came across this picture as I was finding things to pin on my Pinterest Board, and it sparked an idea for a blog post. Now most of these comments are answered in the subsequent posts, but other comments that are not in this pic are some that I’ve come across in my 12 years as a therapist.

1.            Is that a knot? It could be a knot, a lipoma, or a myriad of other things. If it’s outside of my scope of practice, I will suggest that you see a doctor to find out exactly what it is.

2.            Am I the worst you’ve ever seen? Normally I would say no, but if it’s the worst, I’d still say no. Who wants to be the ‘worst’ at anything?

3.            Sorry I’m 20 minutes late…Can I still get my full hour? No, it’s inconsiderate to expect to get a full hour when you are that late to an appointment, especially if you haven’t called. You will get whatever the remainder of the session time is, for the full price. Now, if I’m late, you are absolutely sure to get the hour.

4.            Oh, you’re a massage therapist; does that mean I get one for free? Unless you’re my husband, no. I give away samples like Baskin-Robbins. They are exactly 10 seconds long. No repeats.

5.            Happy Ending? There once was a client that was really sore, and then the brilliant massage therapist got a booking online. The therapist arrived on time, and had the best therapeutic massage and the client re-booked! …And they lived happily ever after. The End. Anything else past that, I do not offer.

6.            I bet your hands get tired, huh? They do, but that’s why I employ other methods of getting the massage done!

7.            Wow, you’re a Massage Therapist? I’ve never met a masseuse. I call myself a Positive Attitude Adjuster. When I called myself a Negative Attitude Adjuster, no one ever wanted to make an appointment.

8.            Do I really need to keep this sheet on? Unless we are performing traditional Lomi Lomi, that sheet will be draped, for your modesty and my protection. Since Lomi Lomi is not a service I provide, the short answer is YES.

This is a series of three posts, so look out for the next upcoming episode of What NOT to Say to a Therapist!